What a day );

HAHAHASo, today was my apt. with the new RE and well I almost feel as if I wasted 3 hours of my time. My insurance was approved for all diagnostic testing but after all was said and done they told me that 1 cycle of ‘Clomid Monitoring’ is$700!! Is that even worth it? That’s almost my mortgage payment. The next option is the IUI and that goes up to $950. I’m just not sure if I can afford to spend this on a few cycles, much less on 1! She was talking to me about not having fertile CM b/c of the Clomid so I was thinking of Pre-Seed, just not sure if it works. Today I think I’m just overwhelmed and in the discouraged section of this whole process. When is enough, enough?…that’s what I’m struggling with. I have faith in God that He will provide to His will for our family but there’s that desire placed in my heart. We will definitely adopt one day but my desire is so strong. I know I’ve said this before but it only gets harder when I spend so much time with our friend’s kiddos, I love them so and treat them as my own…I’m just patiently waiting for my turn. The only reason we’re in such a ‘hurry’ is b/c we don’t know how long I will have a chance to even possibly conceive. So, I’m off my whiny box;)

My Corpus Luteum

In the right pic you can see my Corpus Luteum, proof that I ovulated this cycle…and funny that it was from my right ovarie, b/c that’s where I was hurting during ovulation! She said that I had a ‘string of beads’ on my left ovarie just waiting. Lots-o-Blood

They had to do a full blood panel on me to check for any diseases, HIV, and the like.My blood I’m used to blood by now that it didn’t particularly phase me! I asked her if she minded that I took a pic and she chuckled a bit saying that she’d never had anyone do that before! Leave it to me to put people in awkward situations. She took 5 viles!!

So, I’m not sure what I really got out of this apt. other than I need to hit the lottery soon…but it will require my faith to build even stronger than it already is. I talked to Gabe after I got back to work and he relaxed me in my crazy emotions. He knows how much this hurts me, emotionally and physically, but doesn’t want me to give up. At first it was hard convincing him to want to bring a child into this world with my kind of medical problems but as the months/years have gone by he’s really looking forward to it. He talks about ‘our baby’ like we’re already pregnant, it’s the sweetest thing. So I leave you with another pic…a goodie bag they gave me: 19 days worth of Rx prenatals!Prenatals


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Shelly
    Feb 26, 2009 @ 23:58:17

    You’ve been tagged for an award. Check out my blog!!!


  2. Ashley
    Feb 27, 2009 @ 22:13:25

    I think right now the awards are pouring in because you’ve been tagged for one on my blog too. http://madisonmyangel.blogspot.com/

    I know how hard it can be to decide if taking those next very expensive steps are the direction you should go. My insurance isn’t too good, and would be used up in 1-2 cycles of IUI. That’s why we’re on a break now to try on our own and figure out our next steps.


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