Vampire Doctors

Well at least that’s how I feel with them sucking blood from me every chance they get!! I had my Progesterone test today and I’ll call Monday for results. Let’s pray for big numbers!!! Last month was an 18 so I’m hoping for something close. I was a bit confused b/c my monitor told me I ovulated on cd17 but fertility friend told me I ovulated on cd18, not sure what’s going on but if I did indeed ovulate on cd18 I don’t think we caught the eggo. So as you can tell my hopes are down and I’m not feeling like we won the baby lottery this month…so we’ll see. Here’s another pic of the beautiful blood sucking:Vampires!

Kicking & Screaming

Can you actually picture an adult kicking and screaming on the floor? Well that is the picture I give you of me after I got an annoying call from the doc’s office. When I went in last month she told me that they weren’t going to have me take the Provera this cycle and to see if I start on my own…and to call if I hadn’t started to come in and get a jump start. Well today is cd29 and I called this morning and they want me to wait till my Jan apt. (Jan 7th) and if I haven’t started by then, then they’ll give me the Provera to start on Jan 11th (that would be a 49day cycle)!!! Can we all say “wow”?! So as soon as I hung up with the nurse I about died.

On a better note the Progesterone test was 18! Woooohoo! That is a HUGE jump from last Ptest: 0.8…that one was really pathetic. So, at least we know that I can ovulate, we just gotta make sure I get knocked up. I so wanted to share a BFP with my family on Christmas day. We went to the Harley shop last weekend for a gift for my uncle and they had the cutest onsie: ‘My granpa rides a Harley’, so cute! I guess if I don’t start by Christmas day (cd32) then I’ll take a HPT one last time and then give up for this cycle. Until then…bah humbug. (sorry)

Progesterone Test #2

#2Everything is good so far today and I’m in high hopes for this cycle… really! I know that I’m typically ‘Debbie Downer’ but for some odd reason today I’m looking on the brighter side of things, lol! So I went in and the lady that usually takes my blood wasn’t there but this other girl was really nice and she told me that it took her and her husband 12 years!! Wow…I don’t think I could last that long. Who knows, in only 6 more years that’ll be us. She said they had been trying for what seemed like forever and she finally gave up (the typical response to my IF) and they got pregnant. I only wish people understood us but they seem to be far-and-in-between. Her response didn’t annoy me as much as it typically would. As I was leaving she said you’re gonna get pregnant, I know it…come back to see us when you do! ARGH!

To another note, I read this on a forum I read occasionally and I literally lauged out loud! It’s a survival kit/guide to being an IF woman’s friend…enjoy as did I!

1. Good Friends never judge. Remember that unless you’ve walked in the person’s shoes, you can’t say “well I would never….do IVF/terminate a pg/spend so much money on ART etc” To be honest, who likes judgmental people any way.
2. Good Friends will educate themselves about what their Infertile is going through. HUGE proviso: see point 3 before putting any thing into action. Read up about infertility so that you get a high-level understanding of the intricacies involved. Know little things like eggs are retrieved, then fertilized and they become embryos. Then the embryos are put back. Just small things so that when your infertile does share some of her world with you, you will understand. I think this shows commitment to the friendship.
3. However. Do not willy nilly offer advice, or hot off the press latest research about a fantastic new procedure that is sure to work. Remember the stuff they write about in your local woman’s magazine is stuff that your Infertile did in Infertility 101. Been there, failed that. ICSI is not a new procedure, I promise. And yes, we have heard of taking cough syrup to increase cervical mucous. Oh, and for my Aunt, yes I have heard of lying with my legs in the air after having sex. Unfortunately, I have PCO and don’t ovulate so I could be lying with my legs in the air doing bicycle movements till the cows come home and all the sperm are going to do is mill around confused asking where the fuck the egg is, bemoaning the fact that this has been a useless trip out and they might as well have had a wank. Which goes back to Point 2. Educate yourself about your friend’s diagnosis so that you can avoid offering pointless advice. And please, what ever you do, never, ever be so stupid as to say “just relax”. Would you say to a cancer patient “just relax”? Would you say to someone who can’t see “just relax”? Of course you wouldn’t. Plus you have to know that “just relaxing” will not change the medical diagnosis that is causing your friends infertility. Because of course you’ve done enough reading to carry on an intelligent conversation, if your Infertile decides to engage you in one.
4. Platitudes. Never ever offer platitudes. This is a totally selfish act any way because all platitudes do is make you feel better and the Infertile feel worse. Saying “maybe you are not meant to have children” is an incredibly stupid thing to say. You wouldn’t say to a diabetic “maybe you weren’t meant to have insulin etc”. Infertility is a medical condition. Not some factor in the universe’s bigger plan for the Infertile. Similar to “its God will”. How do you know? You have a direct connection or what? How about “are you sure you want kids?” lovingly looking at your own screaming kids. No dear, I am spending thousands and enduring physical, emotional and mental anguish just because I am obscenely stupid. Or “you can have mine”. Now that’s an incredibly stupid thing to say. What kind of mother are you to give her kids away? Oh you were only joking? What was the funny part? That I don’t have my own kids? Sorry, but I am not getting the joke? Call me stupid. In addition, please don’t tell me about your friend/cousin/co-worker who got pg naturally after 8 years of trying. It doesn’t make me feel better, it depresses me. Good for her. It’s got nothing to do with my situation.
5. The tricky one. Announcing pregnancies / baby showers / births and other kid things. The best advice I can give here is trust the Infertile to know what she can or can’t handle. Don’t hide things from her, but respect it when she says to you “I don’t think I am going to be able to handle that”. Your Infertile knows when her good days and bad days are, and what she can or can’t handle. But do invite her, give her the choice of saying no. And then respect her to know that sometimes she needs to protect her own fragile soul more than she needs to fulfill social obligations.
6. The level of involvement. Infertiles differ in the level of involvement they engage their Good Friends in. Some, like me, are pretty open about the whole thing. Every Friend and their Mother knows when I am going in for ER, ET or whatever. Other people prefer to keep their infertility private. Find out what your Infertile prefers and operate at the level she feels comfortable with.
7. Which brings to me to my final point. If you don’t know how to act, ask. I love that my friends ask me how I want them to act around me. They also know that if they ask the question “how is it going with your treatment” I will either tell them or I will say “irritating, I don’t want to talk about it now”. They totally respect that and don’t push. I have great friends.