3 Days till Galveston!!

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I am dying to get out of here…and so excited that it’s this beautiful! A friend of mine has a time share that her family isn’t using this year so she let me have it for the week!! Since my mother is going through so much this summer there’s no way they’ll take vacation, so my brother’s and I will embark on our first solo vacation together. I am so glad to not have to show up to work for a whole week, I can’t stand this place but I’m trying to get through each day till I can find something else.

So I am on cd4, taking my last round (#8) of Clomid and thinking that it’ll never happen for me. I know not to be negative, but when you have people telling you to ‘just relax’ or ‘it’ll happen eventually’ you want to go nuts. I wish I never heard those words again, but it’s inevitable…I will, probably before the week’s over. A friend of mine just found out she’s expecting #3 and I had to hear it from someone else. The same thing happened earlier this year with another friend, she was too afraid to tell me. No one in my imediate ‘world’ gets it and I’m not sure that they ever will. So back to the Clomid, I don’t think this will be the last of us taking the meds but I do know that I want a small break from the ovulation crap. I’m still planning on taking the Metformin, I have no side effects from it and it regulates me. As for the far future I hope that we will eventually be able to afford IVF but until that happens I guess I will stay barren.

I’ve been working on some new dresses and patterns but haven’t gotten them quite squared away. I also need a chemo hat pattern, I’ve been searching and can’t find one that actually ‘works’. It’s driving me crazy and I would like to have something ready for my mother by this Friday. I read online somewhere that your hair starts to fall out 10-14 days after your first round of chemo and as of today it’s been 6 days so there’s only a few left!

Pray for my mother, she needs emotional healing and recharging. She also is feeling really low about not being able to take care of the family like she used to, cooking/cleaning/taxi driver, and submitting to us taking care of her. I pray that she can see the light at the end of the tunnel and make it through a stronger woman.

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We love Clomid…

So I totally don’t like what it does to me but wow do I love that it makes me ovulate! I am cd14 and haven’t peaked this month yet but I assume it’ll be tomorrow or Saturday. I have a wonderful monitor and it’s pretty friendly with me and gives me correct readings, lol!

Evil ClomidUpdate: I went to the doc yesterday to go over a ‘new’ game plan after this cycle (if it’s unsuccessful) and she was telling me previously that she would only feel comfortable giving me the Clomid for 3 cycles. I was pretty bummed about this b/c I didn’t want to switch docs just yet, I wanted to give it a good 6 or so months on the Clomid before we go into something more crazy. For 1, I probably can’t afford whatever treatments they prescribe, for 2, I don’t want to do all my tests over again, and for 3, I don’t want to wait 3 or 4 months just to get an apointment for some doc to tell me what I already know about my body and my malfunctioning ovaries! Good news is that I somewhat talked my doc into giving me a few more months to ‘try’ the Clomid out. When she wrote the prescription I was floored! She gave me 50 pills…that’s 5 months worth (I take 100mg/daily for 5 days)!! That made me sooo happy and gives me more hope than just ending after 3 short months on the evil drug.

So…here it goes to another 5 cycles of ‘Evil Clomid’…that is if I don’t get prego!