Testimonies are not easy to share!

Every year we have a big women’s event put on at my church and this year it focused on women’s faith stories and I got ‘volun-told’ to share my story…well I’ve only shared it completely one other time. Well I didn’t want to but as a woman of God I knew that the story was given to me for a reason and if sharing it would help other women understand then it was all worth it. I cried the whole 10 minutes it took to read my 2 page speech but after I was finished at least 5 women came up to me to tell me how much it touched them and to share a little bit of their stories…that ended up being similar to my own. A friend of mine, Dominique, was the event photographer and she did such a great job!

And…look at my belly, it’s really pooching out there! (27w6d)

And here is the table I decorated, I made the bunting and spray painted the jar (after I glued the word ‘love’ to the front):

And the party favors that I made…they’re a Martha Stewart pattern but I made my own after looking at hers 🙂 Super easy and I put a pin on the back to wear it in your hair!

Isaiah 43: 1-2 ‘…do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.’

Bittersweet Moment…

Today was our due date for little Garcia #1…it’s been a tough day coming since we got our BFP on Dec. 15th. I’ve been thinking of this day and assuming it’d be one of the hardest days I’d ever have to endure but it’s bittersweet. I will forever miss little one but it almost seems like we lost that one so that Sofia could come, a huge sacrifice. When I mentioned it to the hubbs I couldn’t help but cry and it was unexpected b/c I thought I was stronger than that and that it was okay but I just broke down. Then later on I talked about it more and it was much easier to speak about. Here’s my fav pic, has both little eggs in my birds nest and we’re on the beach…it was a beautiful moment.

I love both of my little ones, I will have them all together once again some day.

Crazy Week!

So this week got started off pretty crummy…the hubbs left for work and won’t be back for at least 3 months 😦 Sad…very sad! I cried. Here’s them leaving and about to take off:

I finally got to talk to him more than just a few seconds today during lunch so that was a huge relief! I miss him and worry so much when he’s gone. I had lunch with a friend today and she relieved some of my stress b/c yesterday I started to cramp uncontrolably and was freaking out! There was no spotting/bleeding so I was making myself relax but I was still anxious and preparing for the worst! She said it happened to her throughout the whole pregnancy and that there were initially two sacs in there and that’s what was most likely causing so much pain in the first place. So as of now, I’m holding on…just two more weeks till I hopefully hear/see/know something more. We are 6w4d…the wait and worry is the worst part of it all!

A friend of mine that I’ve known for about 6ish years is pregnant and having her baby shower this Saturday so I took some pre-maternity photos of her just for the shower (she’s only 28 weeks but they’re having the shower b/c her mom is in town this week only unitl the baby comes).

Pregnant until proven otherwise!

Yes…it’s true, I am indeed pregnant! It feels so weird to say that outloud, it’s such a new thing to me that I almost don’t believe it. I’m not jumping with excitement just yet b/c we still have many hurdles to cross but I am so grateful that I have been given a second chance at this whole motherhood fiasco 🙂 It’s been a long 8 years and I’m so excited to start our family…just hoping this little Garcia will stay and not leave me too soon!! We’re praying hard and taking TONS of meds to keep him/her growing strong. As of today I am 5wks 2days and we have another hcg draw on Thursday so keeping our fingers crossed and praying hard that Friday will have a happy ending!

March 2 (9dpo): BFN (and I was totally expecting the worse for this cycle)
March 5 (12dpo): BFP!! (we agreed to take a test this day even though I wasn’t expecting anything to come from it)
March 7 (14dpo): 1st HCG @ 45 (and I took another test and the line was getting lighter so I was assuming we were loosing little one quick and I was mentally preparing myself for the worse)
March 10 (17dpo): 2nd HCG @ 175 (it doubled in 35 hours!! Much less than the minimum of 48-72hrs)
March 17 (5w4d): 3rd HCG @ …I’m waiting patiently, but still so very nervous!

I’m having full on symptoms and much faster than the last little Garcia so I’m taking that as a good sign but still so very anxious and I want to get excited but I also don’t want to be in pain (although I know I will) if the worst is going to happen, God forbid!! As for now I am ‘pregnant until proven otherwise’ and I’m sticking to it! Last week (4wks) I started cramping a little bit but was told by many of seasoned mothers that this is normal and my back has been achy since before I found out. I also started getting ‘slightly nauseated’ and it’s typicallly when I’m hungry but it’s something I never felt before so I’m glad I’m uncomfortable, thank you God!!

We’re not officially announcing it to the world of fb (all our friends and family) until we hear the heartbeat but as of now the most important people know and if anything goes wrong I know I’ll have a support system set up for me asap. The hubbs is going away to work for a few months without me so I’ll be holding down the fort alone with little one so this may be more emotional than the usual!

I’m so thankful to my God, He’s too good to me and I’m not deserving but ever so grateful. I have prayed for this child for so long, and I know there are so many that have prayed for our litte one too that this is truly a miracle. A miracle can’t even explain it, it’s so much more than a miracle, something we never expected. God is good. This is what holds me together: Isaiah 43:2. To my IF ladies, please don’t loose hope that a miracle can happen. I am living proof that it’s possible, 5 years ago our doctor told us there was no hope that I would never conceive and I believed her, dumbly…and 5yrs later it’s happened twice! This miracle is to glorify Him, and Him alone…it’s not for me, it’s for Him. If I have to give this little one to Him too early at least I know that miracles can happen and that I should never loose the faith that has brought me this far. Selfishly I don’t want to but I have to have faith that His plan is greater than my own.

From http://www.thebump.com they have cute tickers…not sure which one I like the most!
 BabyFetus Ticker

 BabyFruit Ticker